(WOW. Sorry this post took so long! I started it on Thursday, went out-of-town sans laptop Friday, and the rest is history…)

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I waited… a solid 24 hours I waited. 24 hours of me whining and tweeting and status updating to the interwebs about how Google was taking too long to give me Buzz, about how they didn’t love me like I thought they did… 24 hours of begging and pleading, the last 4 of which I spent watching angrily from the window of my RSS feed as friends who I knew didn’t RSS added me, indicating that they had the Buzz that I didn’t. I impatiently hit refresh over and over and over again to no avail. And then, around noon on Thursday, the magical Buzz window suddenly refreshed, spun around and welcomed me into my Gmail. Just like that, it was there! It was finally there!!! Unfortunately, the excitement didn’t last for too long…

You see, Google Buzz didn’t just grant me access like the applications before, inviting me to come inside and check out their new digs. There was little getting to know you, little personal space, little of the “come! explore! dream!” experience that I was used to with Google. No, instead, Buzz stormed into my Gmail like a drunken adopted “uncle” mid-way through Thanksgiving dinner, cursing and wearing sweatpants and drinking cheap booze out of a paper bag, randomly calling exes and lovers and one night stands out of the blue and not only letting them all know that I did not in fact move to an inaccessible corner of Madagascar to help save a rare species of lemur like I said I did, but was alive well and closer than they ever thought… and apparently wanted to be friends with them again. (Trying to have a conversation with this “uncle” is like talking to the school nurse about why you need to call your mom to bring you new pants because you peed the ones you were wearing jumping too high off the swing on the playground, only when you finally get to make the call you pick up the school intercom instead of the telephone because both handsets look EXACTLY THE SAME AND HOW WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE BROADCASTING TO THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WORLD AND NOT JUST ONE PERSON? It’s not like you were given a manual.)

I’m not saying I hate Buzz; if I did, I would’ve turned it off by now. (At least, I think I would’ve… I’m not so sure these days. Part of me thinks that I may be too addicted to social media overstimulation to quit any of it, and I’m not sure what will explode first: the internet, my head, or the computer. The other part of me just doesn’t want to miss a potential train wreck.) I think what I’m trying to say is that Buzz… isn’t exactly what I expected it to be.

For the sake of research I’m leaving it on and active for now, but from what I can tell, hardly anyone else is taking the bait here either. After being out of office for the last 3 days, I was behind maybe 300 newsfeed posts on Facebook. Missed Buzz updates? 4, and they were all in the same message thread.

Meanwhile, across the tubes… Google Maps most recent updates are looking promising, and there’s definitely room for more Buzz integration there; I could see this potentially causing a user to need Buzz in the long run, rather than simply having it sitting there creepily watching your every move. (Shudder.) Filing this one under To Be Continued…

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